The Perfect Woman?

I was challenged (just for fun) to compile a list of traits which I felt would describe "the perfect woman." Being the sick puppy that I am, this initially conjured lines like "3 feet tall with a flat spot on her head where I could set my beer." But since her "perfect man" list was a genuine, thoughtful exercise on her part, I felt that I owed her the same.

The perfect woman for me, in no particular order:

Individualistic, such as changing the spelling of her name from ordinary to unusual.
Intelligent: capable of coherent, original thought, able to articulate those thoughts, and values & appreciates my intelligence.
Financially self-sufficient.
Attractive without requiring makeup.
Doesn't believe she needs full makeup just to go to the grocery store.
Not skeletal, not obese. height/weight proportionate, extra padding no problem.
Has reasoned opinions which she isn't afraid to defend, yet respects the opinions of others (or, at least their right to disagree with her)
Likes kids, especially mine.
Casual in attitude and dress, when appropriate (casual being the rule, not the exception).
Capable of forgiving, even if she doesn't forget.
Open and honest.
Comfortable in her own skin, not averse to casual nudity when in private (and it's not too cold).
An enthusiastic, imaginative lover who enjoys sex often.
Exudes natural charm and poise.
Warm and friendly to friends and strangers alike, unless she has good reason to be otherwise.
Can realistically differentiate between major character flaws and minor eccentricities.
Can laugh at herself.
Keeps her word, even when it's difficult to do.
Inspires me to be my best.
Can say it all with a smile, but not hesitant to say it with words and/or actions.
Subtle, sophisticated sense of humor, but still likes slapstick comedy too.
Passionate about her job and interests.
Gives her heart completely to those she loves.
Dances like no one is looking.
Has her own hobbies/interests, doesn't mind being alone sometimes.
Likes most music, especially mine.
Doesn't let potential embarrassment keep her from having definite fun.
Doesn't embarrass easily.
Can initiate action, or let others do so instead.
Has an infectious laugh, and uses it often.
Likes seafood, especially sushi and cajun.
Has bedroom eyes.
Makes me feel that there's nowhere she'd rather be than with me.
Makes me feel humble and blessed for being with her.

And if she inherits a liquor store, that's just a perk!

My Mid-Life Crisis Badge

I started playing guitar in various bands in my 20's, during the big-hair 80's. While my hair was pretty long back then, and I thought of myself as a liberal progressive, looking back it's obvious to me that I was much more conservative in my views than I would have believed. I was the only one in my circle of musician friends and associates who liked President Reagan, for instance. Also, everyone else had a pierced ear and a tattoo or two, but I never did. I just figured I was being a pussy about it.

Over the years I came to recognize how conservative my values were, and learned that being conservative didn't automatically mean that I was a mean-spirited bastard with a heart of stone, although those are the preconceived notions most liberals would blindly apply to me just for admitting it. I've portrayed myself to the world as the quiet, professional type who dresses conservatively and avoids any kind of outrageous appearance. The only exception to this was the few years that I shaved my head, but that was mostly a response to how fucked up my hair looked after it started falling out.

I'm less than a month away from my 50th birthday as I write this. I've re-immersed myself in my music since my divorce, and I believe that I'm writing my best songs to date. I also decided that I was tired of my plain vanilla-ness, and it was time to take more risks while I was still young enough to enjoy doing so. That's why I gave myself a long-awaited present just after Christmas, and got my ear pierced. Big deal, right?

I know that in this modern era, a single pierced ear and no tattoos is hardly considered very rebellious. But considering how I've refrained from exhibiting any kind of wild streak for so many years, it's still very liberating for me. Those who know me either smirk and make some kind of comment about a mid-life crisis, or genuinely smile and appreciate what I've done, and what I overcame to do it (surprisingly, my mother was among the latter). And even though body piercings and numerous tattoos are now often considered practically mainstream, I'm still pretty plain-vanilla with my little loop hanging from my earlobe - but it's a big deal for me and a first step toward shedding a lot of inhibitions with which I've chosen to contain myself for so long. I'm even ready to get some ink on me, if only I can find something that I can live with - I hate cartoon tattoos, which describes most of them in my opinion. But one step at a time.