Been spending some time reading shit at ubersite.com, some of it pretty funny. Or not.
I just read the post entitled "Like being found dead with your dick in a vacuum cleaner." Very funny.
This reminded me of a friend of mine who once came running out of his room, completely naked, yelling at us, "Hey, watch this!" He then held the vacuum cleaner hose about an inch from the end of his limp dick and it suddenly stretched out and plugged the end hose. Since we were all wasted at the time, this was the 2nd funniest thing we had ever seen.
The funniest thing was when he wondered aloud, "Hmm, what would happen if I held it up to my balls?" When he did, his entire scrotum got sucked into the hose and he started screaming. The hose was firmly locked on his crotch and he was struggling to free himself, pulling the hose this way and that. The vacuum motor's whine went up about 3 octaves and made it sound like the vacuum cleaner was really pissed off. Of course, none of us could help him (we were paralyzed on the floor with laughter and, hey I ain't touching his balls. You do it.) and he finally pulled the hose off and gasped, "My balls were rattling around back and forth inside the hose!" I thought I was going to have an aneurism.
I don't know what hurt worse, his balls or our sides. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard, before or since. Of course, his new nickname was Hoover. If anyone wanted to know why we called him that, we told them to just ask him. He was proud of it!