Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Gratuitous Embedded YouTube Clip: Why Vote Republican?

Thats why.

Carter Desperate To Pass His Crown To Bush

Since his resounding defeat by Ronald Reagan in 1980, Jimmy Carter has chafed under the well-deserved mantle of "Worst President - Ever." And its so unfair! Just because he presided over double-digit inflation, humiliation and loss of American prestige due to his inept bungling of the Iranian hostage crisis, and the precedent-setting appeasement of Islamic radicals (which has served to enbolden jihadists ever since), surely there has been a worse president than he at some point in history, right? ...Right? ...Anyone? ...No?

So Jimmy set himself to the task of proving to the world that he wasn't really the "Worst President - Ever" by sticking his stubby little proboscis into the affairs anyone who lacked the ability to tell him to butt out. Eventually, the good ol' boys in the Tyrants and Despots Society figured out that Jimmy's intrusive littly schnoz had a handy ring attached, by which he could be easily led about for the purpose of advancing their own agendas, such as "certifying" rigged elections and generally oppressing their respective populations. And so Jimmy tightened his grip on his dubious title even more.

One particularly spectacular display of "Jimmy the Tool" was his unsanctioned buttinski mission to North Korea, in which Kim Jung Il "agreed" to the conditions that would become Clinton's "Agreed Framework" policy. Kim told Jimmy, "Hey, I don't really want nukes, I just want a hug (and $5billion in aid, energy, and nuclear reactors)"and Jimmy bought it all like a yokel with a new deed to the Brooklyn Bridge. That Kim proceeded to violate the Agreed Framework from the beginning is undisputed -- the NorKos even admit it. What is disputed (among liberals, that is) is whose fault it is that Kim enjoyed unfettered opportunity and financing to develop nuclear weapons. Its Bush's fault! Jimmy says so!

Liberals have consistently tried and failed to brand every Republican president since Carter as the "Worst President - Ever." They said it about Reagan - the man who won the Cold War and has emerged as one of the finest presidents in our history. They tried to hang the title on Bush Sr., but the fact that he was head and shoulders (and torso and legs) above Carter was obvious even to them. Now they are trying to hang the title on Dubya, and Carter is leading the charge. He knows that George Bush is his last, best chance to lose the WP-E title in what remains of his lifetime, and his desperation to do so would be comical if it weren't so pathetic. And he knows that the most effective way to do so is to utilize the time-honored Democrat tradition of rewriting history.

Just as the Democrats have taken credit for Civil Rights (they opposed it) and winning the Cold War (they opposed that too), and claimed opposition to the war in Iraq (they supported it), they are now trying to gloss over their appeasement of Kim Jung Il by blaming NoKor's acquistion of nuclear weapons on Bush. The most idiotic argument they are making is that, by branding Kim part of the "Axis of Evil" Bush hurt his feelings and caused him to cheat on the Agreed Framework. This is preposterous and disengenuous. But those are the best descriptions for most of the Democrat's attacks on Bush, so what is new?

Jimmy (the one-termer) hears the clock ticking. He knows that his legacy as WP-E is all but assured unless he can pass it on to Dubya (a two-termer). I plan on enjoying his squirming.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

My Meager Contribution To The Pre-Election Political Discourse

I've been blog-slacking lately, sorry. Here are a couple of items that I can post quickly to atone for my neglect and then pretty much continue to slack.

First, a commercial by Airplane and Scary Movie 3 (and 4) director David Zucker, who is a Hollywood rarity for his political views:

Gotta like that guy.

Next, here is a parody website sponsored by the Republican National Committee, which gives you a peek at what a Democrat-controlled congress would look like. It is called America Weakly.

Now, back to slacking...

Update: David Zucker's new Taxman commercial:

Now my advice for those who die,
Declare the pennies on your eyes...