Friday, February 03, 2006

So Who Do I Have To Kill To Get My Own Fatwa?

Actually, that probably wouldn't work. Muslims don't issue fatwahs for merely killing somebody. No, fatwas are generally reserved for something really serious, like... cartoons!

Yes, cartoons. Finally, here is my ticket to truly ticking off the Religion of Peace. It seems that portraying the prophet Mohammed is considered blasphemous in Islam. Who knew (not Google Images, who coughs up plenty of examples)? This might be why the Rennaissance bypassed Mecca and it's suburbs. "Lets see, I can't paint Mohammed but I can paint all the Madonnas that I want? Well, an artist has to make a living, you know."
After Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten published a dozen cartoons depicting Mohammed back in September, a world-wide outpouring of righteous Muslim rage has erupted this week, with protests being staged anywhere an Imam can incite one and a Danish flag is available for burning. All things Danish are being boycotted across the Middle East, and the mobs are behaving with typical Muslim restraint.
Several papers across Europe republished the 'Toons of Blasphemy this week in support of the beleaguered Danish, and to make a point about freedom of expression (which, as you are certainly aware, does not include freedom from being offended). Naturally, this fueled the fire even more, with Muslims mobs denouncing Europe in general and floating suggestions for measured responses such as kidnappings and beheadings, along with the usual killkillkill.
So, just how bad could these cartoons be? From the response, one might think they all portray Mohammed in flagrante delicto with various farm animals (like pigs, for example). This is not, however, the case. By any measure, these are about the tamest political cartoons I've ever seen. For example:

This is an interesting image. I don't know how any honest Muslim can really get too upset with it because, with the eyes blocked out, you can't say for sure that this is really Mohammed. It could be Achmed or freakin' Aqualung for all they know. Or maybe its some kind of Muslim-Virgin-Pinata thing, which could explain the looks of alarm on what little you can see of the women's faces...

This one pretty much covers all the major religions of the world, so I guess we can expect stern letters-to-the-editor from the Christians, Buddhists, and Hindus any day now. Nothing really says "you care" like kidnappings and beheadings, though.

This one is actually kind of funny, a rarity among political cartoons on any subject. But it must be particularly disturbing to homely dweebish Muslim males whose only hope of ever getting laid is to take the Martyr Express to Paradise. Or maybe they are just pissed-off about the depiction of Mohammed in what appears to be Heaven. Tacky.

Of course, this is but a small sample of the "vast collection" of cartoon blasphemy about which the Muslim world has elevated their collective dander. It makes one wonder how they might respond to other "provocations," such as:

  • Sock Mohammed. This would be easy to make, just take a "sock monkey," stick a beard and turban on it, and you're done!
  • Rock'Em Sock'Em Prophets. Just take a Rock'Em Sock'Em Robots set, stick beards and turbans on them, and you're done!
  • Mr. Mohammed Head. Another easy one. Take a Mr. Potato Head, stick a beard and turban on it, and you're done!
  • All Purpose Mohammed Beard & Turban Set. Heck, just get this and convert all your dolls, action figures, and stuffed animals into Mohammed!

Ok, that should just about do it. Time to sit back and wait for the fatwa's to start rolling in.

P.S. I also think Salman Rushdie is a swell guy! Just in case...

Update: Your humble blog-host is now part of Michelle Malkin's Blogburst, a compendium of bloggers who have republished the 'Toons of Blasphemy in defiance of Islam's petulance. This is my 15 minutes of blog fame! Thanks, Michelle.

1 comment:

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