Wednesday, October 26, 2005

My brief adventure in a Parallel Universe

Today started like any other workday, I got up and herded the kids along through breakfast and getting ready for school, got ready for work myself, and then drove them to school. All was as it should be.

And then, as I walked out the school parking lot to get in my car and go to work, it happened!

At first I didn't notice because I was preoccupied in thought about what I was going to do today. I opened the car door, sat down in the driver's seat, and was just about to close the door when I noticed there was strange stuff on the floorboard of my car! I thought, "Hmm, who just put strange stuff on my floorboard? What were they doing in my car? Is there anything missing?

I glanced over at the passenger seat to see if my backpack was there and, in it's place, there was a child carseat strapped in.

My eyes grew wide in astonishment! My leather seats had transformed to cloth! My automatic transmission lever was now a manual transmission lever! There was weird shit hanging from the rearview mirror!

There was only one possible explanation. I had mysteriously fallen into a Parallel Universe. Yes, a parallel universe where things were similar but not the same! I suddenly realized that I no longer had my 2 kids, I now had an infant. Was it a boy or girl? What did he/she look like? Do I now have a different wife too? What does she look like? Where do I work? Where do I live? My spirit bent near to the point of breaking at the thought that all I knew, everyone that I loved, was now gone, irretrievably out of reach forever. I was a stranger in a strange land.

Then I glanced in the rearview mirror and noticed my car parked directly behind me. Waves of sheepish relief washed over me as I hastily exited the vehicle and Groucho-walked to my own.

And I thought, "I better not tell anyone about this." So keep it under your hat, okay?

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